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Harassed husbands unite

BANGALURU : Sunday marked two years since the Domestic Violence (DV) Act came into effect. But some men observed it as black day. They say the act is inhuman since it ignores men completely.

Mohan (name changed, 30), a civil engineer with a construction company, had an arranged marriage two years ago and says he is being beaten up by his wife daily. “She wants to have control over me and wants me to do everything she says. My brother stays with me and she doesn’t want me to support him or give money home.

Whenever she finds out that I have helped my family, or we have an altercation on the matter, she beats me with wooden sticks and iron rods,” he said.

Mohan is forced to stay away from his house on several occasions. “I have sometimes hit her back. Then she threatens to complain to the police. So, whenever she starts beating me, I go out and stay with my friends,” he said.

Shoes as missiles
Ritesh (name changed, 32), a software engineer too faces the same problem as Mohan.

‘There are shoes flying at me’

Only here, his wife hits him with shoes and slippers. “She wants me to hand over all my salary to her. She dictates everything to me and wants me to live as per her way. Only when I object, she starts hitting me.

There have been times when I enter the house and there are shoes flying at me,” he said.

Wife’s affair
Rajesh, (named changed, 34), who works on night shifts, had a different problem. His wife used to have an affair with her former lover, while he was at work. She would even go away to his place for a couple of days.

Each time she came back and he refused to take her back, her parents would arrive and plead with him to take her back, assuring it would not happen again. But after some time, it would resume. When he finally decided not to take any more of this, they foisted a dowry case against him. He had to go into hiding until his friends managed to put together all they could get for bail.

He has filed a divorce case, but his wife is refusing to give him a divorce. Instead, she is asking for a huge maintenance.

So, who’s the victim
Viraj Dhulia (28), techie by profession and spokesperson of Save India Foundation, says that false cases of domestic violence were slapped against him.

“I had an arranged marriage and two months after the marriage my wife went to her parents’ house in Kolkata as per the custom. She did not come back and said that I had to separate from my parents. I am the only son and couldn’t do so.

“She said that she would break the marriage. Her parents then lodged a dowry harassment case in Bangalore and I spent two days in the jail before I could come out on bail. They demanded Rs 20 lakh to withdraw the complaint which I could not afford.

“Two weeks later, they filed a domestic violence case and demanded maintenance of Rs 20,000. All the allegations were false. They returned to Kolkata and filed another domestic violence case demanding Rs 30,000 as maintenance. The cases are going on. As per the interim orders, I am paying Rs 4,500 to her as monthly maintenance,” he said.

Where’s equality?
Viraj says that the Domestic Violence Act violates the constitution itself. “The Constitution says that men and women have equal rights and also says that all are equal before law. But the Domestic Violence Act is gender-specific and gives protection only to women. There are men also who are subjected to violence and abuse, but they have no protection.

According to the Domestic Violence Act, the police have to believe that the women are always honest victims.

Without even investigating, the husband and other people named can be put behind bars. Worse still, as per this act, a mother-in-law cannot complain of violence against the daughter in law,” he said.

As per the DV act the husband has to even pay maintenance to the wife. “Because of this, the Act has been misused several times,” he said.

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