Real Meanings

Cigarette:-

A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

Love affairs:-

Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.

Marriage:-

It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

Divorce:-

Future tense of marriage

Lecture:-

An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.

Conference:-

The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise:-

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Tears:-

The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine waterpower.. .

Dictionary:-

A place where divorce comes before marriage.

Conference Room:-

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

Ecstasy:-

A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

Classic:-

A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile:-

A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office:-

A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn:-

The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc:-

A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee:-

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience:-

The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb:-

An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher:-

A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

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Diplomat:-

A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist:-

A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist:-

A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am not injured yet.

Pessimist:-

A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY

Miser:-

A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father:-

A banker provided by nature.

Criminal:-

A guy no different from the rest… Except that he got caught.

Boss:-

Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician:-

One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor:-

A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

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