When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
David Bissonette

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just cant face each other, but still they stay together.
Sacha Guitry

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, youll be happy. If you get a bad one, youll become a philosopher.

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want?”

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Sigmund Freud

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner,soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

Theres a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. Its called marriage.
Sam Kinison

Ive had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didnt.
James Holt McGavra

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever youre wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever youre right, shut up.
Patrick Murra

The most effective way to remember your wifes birthday is to forget it once….

You know what I did before I married ?
Anything I wanted to.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met.
Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when shes wrong.
Rodney Dangerfield

A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: Wife wanted. Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: You can have mine.

First Guy (proudly): My wifes an angel!
Second Guy: Youre lucky, mines still alive.

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